Kitty'Bee Drabbles
by anime-raven
Summary: TF:A crackiness where Bumblebee doesn't listen and all suffer the consequences. Multiple pairings.
1. Prologue

**Kitty!'Bee Drabbles**

**Theme One: Prologue**

_Warnings: crackiness_

_Pairings: none_

* * *

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Ratchet told Bumblebee to stay away from the AllSpark fragment until it was stabilized, but the youngling didn't listen. "What's gonna happen? It's not like it's gonna explode or any thing." Well, he was right; it didn't explode. Though he wished it did.

Everyone was obviously amused. Bumblebee could hear every stifled snicker that escaped thanks to his altered auditory sensors. Every sound made the sensors- ears Sari reminded him- twitch, much to his mortification. He had even less control over the long, thin appendage that sprouted from the small of his back.

"I think he looks cute," Sari declared. The dam broke. The Autobots were doubled over in their mirth. Bumblebee felt his ears flatten against his helm, clearly offended. Ratchet was the first to recover.

"Serves you right! I warned you to stay back, but did you listen? Noooo." The medic loomed over the younger 'bot, who winced at the realization that, yes, he'd lost about three feet in height. "You're lucky you weren't turned completely into, uh… What's it called?"

"A cat," Prowl answered, amused by the thrashing tail and flattened ears. He'd watched the animal enough to that his young comrade was livid.

That was the last straw for Bumblebee. "Just fix it already!"

Ratchet crossed his arms and gave him a leveled look. "Can't. You're just gonna have t' wait 'til the effect wears off." The words 'you deserve it' hung in the air.

"But- but-"

The medic transformed and headed back to base, everyone following after. Everyone except Bumblebee, that is. Apparently you can't transform with a tail.


	2. Spilt Milk

**Kitty!'Bee Drabbles**

**Theme Two: Spilt Milk**

_Warnings: crackiness, slash, perversion, sexual themes_

_Pairings: one-sided ProwlxBumblebee_

* * *

Prowl thanked Primus he blended in with the shadows.

Bumblebee sat on the floor, completely unaware of observing optics. His complete attention was on the precious milk he craved. Just because he misjudged the strength of the container did not mean he was going to let the spilt milk go to waste.

Even if that meant he had to lick it off of himself.

Every slow sweep of that roughened tongue was heavily scrutinized. Prowl silently cursed when his cooling fan whirred to life. The yellow 'bot snapped his head up and flicked his ears forward. Laughter erupted from the TV in the next room, reminding the ninjabot how loud it was.

Turning his attention back to the little mech, Prowl's spark pulsed painfully for a moment. Bumblebee had shuttered his optics and stuck one of his fingers in his mouth. His bliss was evident by the flattened ears and twitching tail.

'Kitty' unshuttered his optics and suddenly found himself far more interested in the puddle of milk on the floor. His vocal processor began producing a loud feline purr as he bent down to lap up the liquid. He never noticed the hidden figure slip away.

The was no way in the Pits Prowl was going to get caught and explain to his teammates that he'd overloaded at the sight of Bumblebee's aft in the air.


	3. Scratch

Kitty

_**Kitty!'Bee Drabbles**_

_**Theme Three: Scratch**_

_Warnings: crackiness, slash_

_Pairings: OptimusPrimexBumblebee if you squint_

* * *

Optimus should know better than to let his curiosity to get the better of him.

Sari had mentioned once that cats liked to be scratched behind the ears. This interested the leader, so he thought he'd try it out. Apparently Sari forgot to mention how cats reacted to being petted because Optimus found himself in a rather… awkward situation.

He'd found Bumblebee sitting on floor, apparently bored despite the television being on. He sat himself on the couch behind the smaller 'bot who only flicked his ears at the sound of him moving across the room. Since no one else was around…

Bumblebee sat up straight when he felt someone scratch the base of his ears lightly. The startlement quickly gave way to contentment as he melted into the gentle touch, leaning against his leader's legs.

Optimus chuckled at his response before removing his hand. As cute as the altered mech was he didn't think that the youngling appreciated being treated like a pet. Whether or not this was true didn't matter. Bumblebee was an attention hog, and damn it, he wanted Prime's attention! He proved this by leaning up and rubbing his ears against the large hand. Well, okay…

And that's how he'd ended up here. At some point Bumblebee had managed to climb into Prime's lap, nuzzling his abdomen as the base of his tail was scratched. He wouldn't be doing the latter if Optimus hadn't let his hand wander down his comrade's back. But the purring that it caused was so pleasant, he couldn't help it!

Of course, the absent-minded licking of his grill was, too.

He had to stifle a moan when he felt Bumblebee's delightfully rough tongue accidentally slip in between two of the plates. There was no way was going to be able to escape the little 'bot in his lap. Optimus was slagged.


	4. Cat Nap

Kitty

_**Kitty!'Bee Drabbles**_

_**Theme Four: Cat Nap**_

_Warnings: crackiness_

_Pairings: none_

* * *

Bulkhead was panicking.

He thundered into the make shift medbay. "Ratchet! Somethin's wrong with Bumblebee!"

The medic sighed, and set his tools down before following the other mech. He doubted it was anything serious. The sight that greeted him in the den was surprising, to be sure, but not alarming.

Bumblebee had somehow laid himself over the back of the couch without falling off. Ratchet could not imagine that being at all comfortable, yet the youngling appeared to be in recharge.

"What's wrong with him?" he asked, clearly not convinced.

"He's recharging in the middle of the day-!" Bulkhead was cut off by the medic raising his optic ridge.

"He's fine, Bulkhead. It's normal for cats to rest throughout the day. He's not even in a proper recharge." He quietly walked over to the resting Bumblebee and lightly tapped him on the shoulder. "You're going to get your wires twisted up."

The youngling flicked his ears forward and unshuttered his still powered down optics. Otherwise, he didn't move. Ratchet huffed and left, muttering in a low tone.

His worry of his friend's health abated, Bulkhead flopped into his chair before flicking on the TV at a low volume. He'd only been sitting for a few minutes before Bumblebee jumped on him from off the couch. The small 'bot climbed up to his friend's shoulder and curled up into a small ball, falling back into recharge.

Bulkhead didn't have the spark to disturb him.


	5. Fish

_**Kitty!'Bee Drabbles**_

_**Theme Five: Fish**_

_Warnings crackiness, slash_

_Pairings: hinted RatchetxWreckGar_

* * *

"You're gonna fall over if y' keep doin' that." Bumblebee shot Ratchet a mild glare before returning his attention back to the water. "Fine, fall int' the canal. Just remember: I'm not fixin' y' if you hurt yourself." The medic face palmed when he heard a startled yelp followed by a splash.

Bumblebee slowly sank to the bottom; ignore the unusual sense of unease from being in the water. Something about cats not liking water. Whatever. All he cared about was catching one of those colorful, fat fi-

"Wreck Gar?" To the yellow 'bot's surprise, the Wreck Gar was buried to the shoulder in the mucky bottom.

"Hi!" He seemed pretty happy to see something other than a fish. But then again, he has been stuck down there for a long time.

"Oh, man. Haven't seen you for a while. Let me get you out." Bumblebee carefully worked his way over to the junkbot and proceeded to dig him out.

"Wow, thanks. I've been down here so long I don't even know how long it's been. Hey, cool thingies. I really like the one on your back. Where'd you get it? I want one. It's so long and thin and flexible and-"

"Will you shut up!" Bumblebee wondered why Ratchet was so worried about this jerk. All he did was talk like an idiot. "Look, I got you loose, so let's get out of here."

As they swam their way back up, the smaller mech discreetly snatched a fish and stashed into a storage compartment. He was first break the surface and got an earful as he climbed on shore.

"I told you you'd fall in! You better not have eaten any fish while you were down there! You'll make yourself sick! You know you can't process that stuff! Remember what happened with the milk?"

"Ratchet!"

"Oh, slag!" Ratchet was knocked over by an overly enthusiastic and clingy Wreck Gar. Bumblebee could hear him curse as the garbage truck talked his audio sensors off. Something about befriending fish and missing Ratchet or something. He didn't care. All the yellow mech cared about was devouring his precious catch.

"Bumblebee, what did I just tell you about eating fish!"


	6. Catnip

_**Kitty!'Bee Drabbles**_

_**Theme Six: Catnip**_

_Warnings: crackiness, slash_

_Pairings: slight RatchetxWreckGar_

* * *

'It's gonna be one of _those_ days, isn't it?' Ratchet thought. He had a sixth sense about these things. Comes from being in the war, or so he told himself. His premonition came true only a few moments later.

Wreck Gar had burst in to the medbay yelling something about Bumblebee not catching him before hiding. The smaller mech stormed in right after, easily finding the junkbot in his poor hiding place. A very loud argument ensued, and that was it for Ratchet.

"Knock it off you two! Don't make me have t' weld you down!" Really, did they have to do this in the morning? "Now get out of my medbay!"

"But Ratchet," Wreck Gar whined, "'Bee started it!"

"Me?" Bumblebee shouted, clearly outraged. "You're the one carrying-"

"No I'm not! The lady said it's Nepeta!" Ratchet sighed before requesting the plant matter in question. He took the Ziploc and examined it.

"Catnip," the medic sighed. Bumblebee could be such a drama queen sometimes. A mischievous idea crossed his mind. "Hey kid, think fast."

The smaller 'bot had no time to react before getting covered with the clippings. The rest of the world melted away when the smell hit his olfactory sensor. His optics dimmed and he dropped to the floor before rolling around, meowing and purring.

"He'll be fine," Ratchet assured the other mech. Wreck Gar grinned and pulled Ratchet into a forceful hug. "W-what are y' doin'?" the medic yelped in surprise.

"Ratchet and Wreck Gar sittin' in a tree-!" Bumblebee sang. He still looked a little loopy from the catnip, but his optics were clearing up.

Primus, Ratchet hated days like this!


	7. Hunt

Kitty'Bee Drabbles

_**Kitty'Bee Drabbles**_

_**Theme Seven: Hunt**_

_Warnings: crackiness, slash_

_Pairings: ProwlxBumblebee_

* * *

Nowhere was safe for Prowl, nowhere at all.

He carefully skulked through the shadows, not making a sound. He just had to reach the entrance. He was almost there…

Something suddenly came at him from the front, its small form forcing him down using momentum. He landed with a heavy thud, hitting his head. He shook away the stars in front of his optics to see Bumblebee sitting on his chest, looking very pleased with himself.

"Off," Prowl grunted. Instead, his captor leaned forward, silently gloating over his prey.

"You're just upset 'cause I caught you." The tone was mischievous, almost suggestive. Bumblebee was surprised to feel the other's frame heating up, but he wrote it off as anger and possibly embarrassment. He leaned over until their noses nearly touched, chuckling at the older mech's discomposure.

Between the swish of that delicate tail and the warm, comfortable weight of the 'bot above him, Prowl couldn't take it any more. He grabbed the face before him, closing the small distance between their mouths. Bumblebee released a startled yelp that melted into a purr when he felt careful fingers rub his ears.

They broke away, air intakes desperately trying to cool heated wires. The ninjabot's systems heated further at the sight of the youngling draped over his chassis, unable to support himself. He looked so willing and innocent…

Innocent!

Prowl carefully removed Bumblebee; setting him on the floor. Shakily, he rose and turned to leave. He took one last look at the tempting sight, facing questioning optics.

"Pray to Primus I don't catch you." The small mech's optics widened as he suppressed a shiver induced by the unusually deep voice. He scrambled off the floor ran unsteadily back to his own quarters.

Prowl sighed. One day he wasn't going to be able to hold himself back.


	8. Spring Time

_**Kitty'Bee Drabbles**_

_**Theme Eight: Spring Time**_

_Warnings: crackiness, slash_

_Pairings: mentioned ProwlxBumblebee, OptimusxBumblebee if you squint, RatchetxWreckGar_

Bumblebee knew he wasn't going to run into Prowl as he walked to the medbay. The motorcycle was on patrol, allowing him to try to figure out what exactly happened a few hours earlier.

He shivered slightly at the memory. He half wished he'd stayed…

No, no, Bumblebee reminded himself. He wasn't ready for something like that; no matter how much he liked it.

The small 'bot sprinted the rest of the way, wanting to get the uncomfortable conversation over with. He wanted to know what was going with his body, and he knew only Ratchet could tell him.

"Ratchet!" Bumblebee banged the door as he shouted. "Ratchet!" His face fell as he heard a loud yelp that did _not_ sound like Ratchet.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" The medic stomped up to the door, only opening it enough to show his face. "What do you want, Bumblebee? I have a patient."

Bumblebee was not sure if he wanted to laugh or vomit. "I think I'm gonna be sick! You go back to 'facing with Wreck Gar." He quickly left behind the sputtering medic, not wanting to be around when Ratchet came to his senses. Or if Wreck Gar "calmed him down". Either way he didn't want to be there.

The yellow mech found himself in the rec room, occupied only by Optimus. The leader greeted him before returning his attention to the TV. Bumblebee decided that if Optimus was here…

"Uh, Boss 'Bot?" he asked, feeling really awkward. "W-would you rub my ears?" His face heated in embarrassment, not believing that he'd asked it. To his surprise, Optimus didn't mind at all, offering the seat next to him.

Bumblebee curled up loosely in the offered spot. The lovely feeling of his ears being scratched comforted him greatly, helping him forget the weird dreams and weird body reactions that came with Spring.

He nuzzled Optimus's side as he slipped into recharge, completely oblivious to the odd reaction it received.


	9. Claws

_**Kitty!'Bee Drabbles**_

_**Theme Nine: Claws**_

_Warnings: mild violence_

_Pairing(s): none_

* * *

"Stop acting like a sparkling, Bumblebee!" Said mech hissed and continued to cling to the couch. Optimus sighed. "Fine. Then we'll do this the hard way."

Bumblebee yowled, being pulled off of the couch forcefully by his leader. He was slung over the larger 'bot's shoulder in a fireman's carry.

Prime carried the youngling has securely as he could, not wanting to drop him. This task was made difficult with Bumblebee hissing and kicking wildly.

The altered mech finally had had enough. He extended his claws and scratched at Optimus's back. The leader cried out at the searing pain, but despite this did not let go of his captive.

Ratchet was quite surprised when the two finally stumbled into the medbay. "It took you long enough. What-" His optics widened when he saw the Primes gashes, now leaking body fluids. "Primus, Prime! I told you to watch out for his over grown claws! Get him to a repair table."

He did as the medic said, and even held Bumblebee down whilst Ratchet applied a sedative.

"I'll get claws clipped. Then I'll weld up those wounds of yours." The war vet retrieved the required tools. "Only Bumblebee would throw a fit over a tune up."


	10. Climbing

_**Kitty!'Bee Drabbles**_

_**Theme Ten: Climbing**_

_Warnings: slash, molestation, Blitzwing_

_Pairing(s): BlitzwingxBumblebee_

* * *

Bumblebee just had the worst luck. One minute he's running and the next minute he's stuck in a tree. He heard the screaming of a jet overhead. Oh slag.

Blitzwing transformers into bi-ped form before landing, grabbing the youngling on his way down. He used Bumblebee to cushion his fall. The Decepticon lifted the damaged Autobot up easily, his "random" face laughing insanely.

"I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee. Won't my mama be so proud of me. Hahaha!" Bumblebee, not enamored with his captors song, hissed. Blitzwing's "cold" face whirred into place. "Vhat odd modifications. Day ton't seem to hafe any specific purpose." He pinched a cat ear, receiving a yowl in reply. "Dese are sensitife. Curious."

Bumblebee desperately wished he could move. With every passing second the situation got worse. He was being held against the larger chassis, being petted by the filthy 'con. The poor Autobot couldn't contain his purring, much to his mortification.

Blitzwing's first face regained control. "You are such a cute little kitty!" He kept a good hold of the youngling, even as he explored the chassis. He wanted to see just how sensitive his new pet was.

A shuriken hit the Decepticon on the back of his head. His red face whirred around, spotting the other Autobots. He stood ready to fight for his prize, but his comm. link buzzed to life.

"_Blitzwing!" _Megatron shouted on the other side of the line. _"Get back to base! Now!"_ The connection suddenly cut off.

Snarling, Blitzwing tossed Bumblebee at his openents as if he was nothing more than garbage. His black face took over. "I't lofe to stay and chat, but I'fe got to run." He transformed and flew off shouting "See you in the funny pages! Hahaha!"

Ratchet ignored the retreating 'con, more interested in inspecting Bumblebee's battered frame. "We need to get him back to Sari. Primus, this is a mess!" Bulkhead offered to transport his friend and transformed into his alt mode.

"Hey, Ratch?" The medic acknowledge Bumblebee with a grunt. "Remind me never to climb anything ever again."


	11. Blanket

_**Kitty!'Bee Drabbles**_

_**Theme Eleven: Blanket**_

_Warnings: hinted slash_

_Pairing(s): hinted OptimusxBumblebee_

* * *

Ratchet rebooted is optics a few times, but what he saw did not change. He sighed. "Bumblebee, I need that thermal blanket."

Said mech opened his optics lazily, not pleased with his nap being interrupted. "But it's warm," he sighed, snuggling into the large piece of material. He yelped when the sheet was yanked from under him.

"These are for the injured or sick!" Ratchet smirked evilly, visibly scaring poor youngling. "Of course, that can be arranged…"

"N-no," Bumblebee stuttered. He spotted Optimus entering the room casually. "Prime!" He whined. "Ratchet took my blanket!"

The leader stared at the scene a moment. "I'm sure he has a good reason, Bumblebee." He looked at the medic expectantly, but there was no explanation.

"See! He's just being mean!" Bumblebee proceeded give Prime the biggest, saddest optics he could muster, his ears drooping slightly. He cheered mentally when the larger 'bot sighed in defeat.

"Ratchet, give Bumblebee back the blanket." He shook his head when the medic tried to protest. "You have at least three other thermal blankets. If you really need one, just ask Bulkhead to retrieve it from storage."

Ratchet grumbled but relinquished the sheet to the small 'bot, who grabbed it and ran. He sighed and glared at Optimus. "You spoil him too much. Primus forbid you actually take him as your mate." He stalked past the highly flustered Prime in a huff. Sometimes he didn't understand why he put up with all this nonsense.


	12. Rain

_**Kitty!'Bee Drabbles**_

_**Theme Twelve: Rain**_

_Warnings: none_

_Pairing(s): none

* * *

_

"I hate rain."

Prowl turned his attention away from his documentary, curious. It wasn't the first time Bumblebee had stated his displeasure with bad weather, but this time was different. He was dripping wet, feline ears flattened, and shivering. He tried to resist snickering. He failed.

Bumblebee glared at him. "It's not funny!" He lifted one of his legs to find water dripping from transformation seams. "The water got under armor. Gross!"

"It's not going to hurt you, Bumblebee," Prowl deadpanned.

The younger mech stuck his tongue out at the ninjabot. "Well excuse me for worrying about stuff getting into my armor." He kneeled low to the ground and shook his body in a distinctly feline manner, trying to rid himself of the unpleasant liquid.

Bumblebee looked up when Prowl uttered a sound of irritation. Water had splayed about the room, soaking everything. The youngling grinned cheekily at his now wet companion. The ninjabot moved into crouch in response, preparing to attack.

"What happened here?" Both 'bots hesitated before facing an angry Ratchet.

"Hurricane Bumblebee," Prowl said smugly. He smirked as Bumblebee stared at him in shock.

"Of course," the medic huffed grumpily, grabbing a sensitive ear. "You're cleanin' up yer mess, kid." He dragged the guilty mech out of the room by the ear.

Prowl rolled his optics hidden behind his visor. Bumblebee just never learned.

* * *

A/N: Most are probably unaware of this but there is a series of extras that goes with this series. Currently there are only three (?) entries, because the main series isn't finished. If you would like to read the extras on instead of digging through my DA account, then just ask.


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